A friend is indeed a necessary emotional and social connection in all our life but, what if it is your coworker. We usually stick with school or college friends and has deep bond with them than our colleague whom we meet at early or late twenties. This is a guide to how to deal with a coworker who wants to be your friend.
How To Deal With a Coworker Who Wants To Be Your Friend?
Many people do not find time to maintain friendship at workplace. Naturally, it is crucial to keep good working ties with all of your coworkers. And Therefore urge you to take that action. But occasionally, a connection becomes very strong. It can sometimes cause you problems. It may start to interfere with your work and harm your reputation in the office. Coworkers should strive to get along cordially for the purpose of productivity, especially when they work side-by-side for months or longer periods of time. Friendships at work frequently develop organically as a result of frequent interaction and common experiences. However, it’s crucial to avoid playing games with your coworkers if you’d prefer not to be friends with any, all, or part of them. There will be many reasons why a coworker wants to be your friend. Knowing these and keeping your limits are the life changing elements in a workplace. If the intentions are pure you are somewhat good to go.
Certain points you should keep in mind
1. Communicate your boundaries
Communication is the spine of any relationship. Once you are clear with your limits and boundaries you should communicate them with your potential coworker friend. This can make them flood the place or draw more closer to you. Any move should not make you change your boundaries. Don’t give them expectations. For that you should clearly set your limits
2. Be formal when needed
No matter how close they want to be, you should be formal at working hours in order to concentrate and efficiently do your work. Keep distractions away. Sometimes higher authorities may find it a form of grapevine communication and be less impressed of you. Treating all your colleagues equally while at work is also very important. Communicate this to your coworker if they crave for more of your attention.Make sure you keep the employee-employer distinction in mind. Limit your conversation to topics about which your coworker is not required to report.Remember that you must collaborate at the end of the day. Be mindful of whether whatever you say or do in a more carefree setting will benefit your valuable network or the mood at work the following day.
3. Work over friendship
Making a coworker friend is a bit tricky. The borderline between work and friendship should be kept separate and make sure you don’t blur the line. Keep up with your work by having a pleasant social life. Sometimes colleague may encourage you to take a couple of days to take leave to hangout or vacation somewhere. But if this is completely out of your plans concentrate on your work life. The hours and effort you put into work should be more than friendship. A work-life balance should be maintained.Keep an eye on the time and remember that you and your friends both have jobs to do.
4. Show your interests and hobbies
If your interests and hobbies don’t match with your coworker they won’t find interested in you anymore. For example if you are an introverted person who enjoys having small friend circle for hangouts and need a lot of alone time , the other person might not be of the same category and will be a party goer and they can’t have connection with you. Similarly hobbies can attract and revert people each other.
5. Be conscious of their impact on you
If the friendship makes you lazy and less productive you should cross check your decisions. At some points of life one should keep work first. This should not be affected badly by the presence
of a person. If at all such distractions happen you should stay away from that relationship without spreading hatred. Be aware of your goals and accomplishments. Work for yourself and your dreams.Expecting your coworker to be your most important confidant is unrealistic.
6. Never dismiss completely
You should never cut off your coworker entirely because this may directly or indirectly affect your career. Keeping good contacts and work relationships are very necessary for the growth of your career life. Also keeping a warm relationship with your colleague is necessary to have a emotionally pleasant work space than being in a stressed condition.Be professional at all times, regardless of how you feel about your coworkers. You don’t want your employees to avoid you or look for other ways to reach you when they need to speak with you directly, even in the absence of friendship.Also before declaring that you don’t want to be friends with your coworkers, consider the culture of your job.
7. Don’t be over Empathetic
Helping your coworker in emotional needs are good but don’t get yourself drained in their problems. Remember you have a life to deal with. Consider yourself first. Never burden your mind with your coworkers personal problems. Support and help them when necessary without stressing your mind too much.if a coworker of yours is struggling at work and needs your guidance or assistance. Instead than talking during the workday, it could be preferable to schedule a time after hours or find professional people they can talk to.
Never let someone take advantage of you. While some of your coworkers may be seeking a true relationship and connection, others may just be searching for someone to handle the greater share of their workload or to step in and correct them when they mess it up.
8. Don’t let them control you
Never give them control over yourself. Do not let them dictate you or the things you do. You should share your opinion each other if necessary. That does not mean you should surrender to the opinion of your friend. You should have authority of the work you do. Do not them over involved in your area of work. Stay independent.Never let your friendships become unbalanced, else someone might take advantage of you.
9. Respect each other
Give respect an take respect. If the coworker is your close friend does not mean that person can disrespect you. Respecting each other and showing manners and etiquettes are very important in a workplace to make it cooperative. If the coworker is trying to mildly be little you regarding work you should stand up for yourself. Friendship without respect is toxic. One should never indulge in such friendships where your integrity and dignity are compromised. Respect is indeed a essential part of workspace. How a person treats you tells a lot about them and their intentions.By saying hello to your coworkers when you arrive at work and wishing them a good night when you leave, you can keep the channels of communication open.
10. Remember to treat everyone equally
You may form stronger bonds with some coworkers than with others. There may be coworkers you don’t get to know very well. That is indeed fine, but make sure your friendships don’t influence your workplace decisions. Make an effort to collaborate with people you don’t know as well as to include other coworkers in your interactions.
11. Follow the rules
If there are existing rules in your company or workplace one should keep in mind to follow these. If this means to have less fun with your colleagues also you are bound to follow it. Do not get carried away by your inner child. There are some guidelines for workplace friendships that you should take into account. Doing so is beneficial for both your mental health and love of your
job.Rules help you control your conversations with friends so that you speak positively about others and keep confidential information private.
Having a social life is very important for any person irrespective of their age or work. Choosing your circle wisely is tricky sometimes. Making friends and getting to know someone takes time. It’s best to give your coworkers some time to become used to your consistent professionalism before letting them in on your more laid-back side. People can learn more about you by investing the right amount of time forming friendships.
It doesn’t necessarily need to be more than just someone to enjoy lunch or coffee breaks with. In what can be a stressful situation, appreciate having a friend. Accept it for what it is, but don’t look for more.It’s wonderful to be warm and pleasant and to share some information with coworkers you trust. You can establish healthy limits from the beginning if you know in advance what kinds of things you are willing to disclose.You have every control over yourself. So, decisions wisely and do not hesitate to say a NO.
