HOW TO ACCEPT THE REJECTION OF A JOB OFFER AND DEAL WITH THE PAIN? Dealing with rejection and trying again other opportunities requires courage and tenacity.
In life and as humans, rejection is inevitable. It is a phenomenon common to every individual, whether rich or poor, tall or short, which we usually would experience whether we desire it or not, whether we deserve it or not. Rejection has no regard for social class, cultural background, traditional and religious belief, and any other personal inclination. That is the sole reason why, as humans, we naturally would strive to make sure we secure every breakthrough we can, win every situation, and make the best use of every opportunity. However, rejection still kicks in one way or the other, whether we want it or not. We either win some, or we lose some, but we usually hope that we win most of the time than we lose. Rejection is not palatable; nobody loves being rejected. We often pray and hope that we gain acceptance in all our endeavors, so the feelings of being rejected are emotion-wrecking and rejecting. It usually leaves the victim demoralized with psychological trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts in some extreme situations.
Statistics have shown that 1 to 2 in 6 candidates who applied for a job were rejected. More importantly, statistics have also shown that most people who got rejected at a job interview could not handle the situation properly. Rejection can be deserving sometimes, while at other times, it is undeserving. Rejection can be due to poor performance or sometimes the cynicism of the recruiter. This is why it is imperative to discuss the subject of rejection, its impact on the victim, and proffer useful ways of dealing with it. Rejection can make someone totally lose confidence in themselves and constantly doubt their ability to perform or deliver at any given task. They begin to believe it was their fault they got rejected; they probably are not good enough, and as a result, they start to feel that there is nothing they really can do well at or nothing good can come out of them. Self-doubts will make it difficult for anyone to be willing to try again and make an attempt at achieving something at other times because their experience has subconsciously informed them that they are not competent of anything good, their sense of self-worth has been tampered with, their ego has been punctured, and their mindset has been badly bruised which is why they have come to accept the defeat.
Therefore, putting the topic in perspective, being rejected at a job offer comes with various reactions that vary from person to person and diverse reasons, which is partly the focus of this article. But one thing is consistent, no one enjoys being turned down at a job offer or feels happy after being rejected considering the amount of work and effort that an individual would have put into preparing for the job test and interview, the amount of time and resources that have been utilized just to be adequately prepared for the interview and having done all that and being rejected after all. The feeling after a rejection is not pleasant; it is often a mixture of anger and anguish.
Many people have resorted to drug and substance abuse (such as marijuana, cocaine, etc.), excessive intake of alcohol, and certain social vices as a way of dealing with rejection with the hope of using them to suppress how they feel while others have entirely withdrawn from their friends and loved ones after their experience with rejection and have gone into loneliness and depression. Others have developed diverse mental illnesses due to the adverse psychological effect of rejection, and others have become a shadow of themselves. This shows that rejection can utterly throw someone into a state of confusion where they do not even know how to forge ahead with their lives, whereas some will lose the will to try again. Rejection from a recruiter can completely shatter an individual who has not learned how to handle such life circumstances.
The impact of rejection from a recruiter may come with some other challenges such as financial crisis, health crisis, and self-confidence loss. Suffice to say that it takes being strong and having high emotional stability to pull through rejection. Most importantly, it takes a high level of resilience and doggedness to continue to try again until the intended result is achieved. Dealing with this form of rejection and trying again at other opportunities requires courage and tenacity. Such individuals who bounce back from this experience are usually regarded as those with high motivation and relentlessness. People who will defy all odds and seeming challenges to go head-on and confront them till they achieve their heart desires.
Having looked at the meaning of rejection, its adverse effect on the victims, and a need to try again, there is a need to properly teach this topic holistically and proffer useful mechanisms to handle the situation. This article focuses on handling job rejections and dealing with pain. However, it is necessary to state that the feelings after any form of rejection, whether from a recruiter or a loved one, is largely the same, and the things that will be discussed herein are not fail-proof techniques or strategies that are tested and trusted; however, they are insights that I believe will be useful to anyone going through this stage of life as someone who also has been through diverse forms of rejection especially as it relates to job search.
At some point in my life, I was churning out several job applications, those that are relevant to my discipline and those that I believe are completely irrelevant. I attended a couple of interviews, got turned down at different times. One thing this period taught me was never to give up until I have achieved my desire. So I kept on trying, edited my CV countless times, redrafted my cover letter several times, and just generally continued to try. I have written this article, not as a theoretical piece but from personal experience and other insights garnered over some time, hoping that it will be useful for people going through this phase of life to help them find necessary succor and a will to try again till they get the desired job.
Reasons for Rejection of Job Offer
It is important to note that there are many reasons why an applicant’s job application may be turned down, which may be partly the applicant’s fault and the applicant’s fault, sometimes the recruiter’s. As African men, we attribute so many things, especially our lives, to destiny and luck. When things do not happen in our favor, we conclude that it was our luck or fate, so people find it difficult to take ownership of their life outcomes and tend to blame others for the happenings in their lives. Sometimes, certain things happen because of specific reasons, which are largely the individual’s fault. It is expedient to find out what those reasons are and ensure that the problem does not become repetitive. It is in taking responsibility that such an individual will find out areas in which they erred and useful ways of making adjustments.
Some general reasons why an applicant may be turned down include:
- Poorly Prepared Resume: Certain individuals miss out on job opportunities because of how badly prepared their resume is. Recruiters are responsible for reviewing tons of applications daily that they do not have the luxury of time to comb through each word for word, sniffing out important details. In fact, these days, there is software that they can run a CV through and will extract the details. So if after extraction, the recruiter cannot pick out the important information in the CV, he or she would have no choice but to reject such a candidate.
- Experience and Skillset Mismatch: Certain job openings require specific experience and skillset, usually made clear in the advert placement. This experience and skillset mean more to the recruiter because it is how they have adjudged from their professional wisdom the success of a candidate at the job, more so their ability to deliver on the job’s core target, which is why it is specifically put out there. However, certain people would disregard this particular piece of information and still apply with the hope of getting called maybe by luck or destiny. Sometimes, such applicants get rejected simply because their experience and skillset do not match the job vacancy, making them unfit for the job vacancy. It is instructive to critically review the needed experience and necessary skills for a job and be certain you possess the requisite requirements before turning in your application to avoid being rejected.
- Demography: There are certain jobs whose requirement is specifically targeted at particular demography, maybe a particular age group, speakers of a particular language, etc., for specific job functions. Therefore, an applicant who does not belong to this particular demography may not get the job. Such applicants get rejected not due to something they did not do right but simply because they do not match the specified demography.
- Unsuitable Personality: Often, recruiters ask certain questions to determine the personality a person has because personality is important to an individual’s success or failure at a job and essential to their organization’s representation. So a recruiter wants to be sure that they are recruiting people with great times. Usually, people fail at interviews for not demonstrating the right attitude or personality, which makes them lose out completely on the job opportunity.
- High Remuneration: Sometimes, recruiters may not be able to go further with an applicant because their salary expectation cannot be met by the recruiter, or often, such expectation is not realistic for the job role, or rather such is not in tandem with their skill set. This makes such an applicant to be turned down no matter how qualified they are for the job.
- Poor review from reference: Recruiters usually ask that candidates provide specific individuals with close career relationships as referees. Usually, these individuals are previous employers, university supervisors, or former colleagues. To carry out due diligence on the candidate, the recruiter reaches out to these people to ask for specific information. While some will give positive reviews about the candidate, others may negatively criticize the person, which may impede their chances of the geg the job.
How To Accept Rejection Of Job Offer?
- Ask for Feedback: Feedback is important in life. You must always seek to know how and why certain things came to play. So you may want to ask your recruiter why they are turning down your application most politely ever. Did you answer a question wrongly? Was your CV badly prepared? Or was there a mismatch between your previous experiences and the job description? Are you just inexperienced for the job role? Knowing why you were turned down helps you properly prepare for your next opportunity, and it also helps you know the things that are within your control that you can easily work on and the ones that are out of your control. Having received detailed feedback from the recruiter as the reason for being rejected, carefully analyze such information, and plan how to make the most use of such information. Information is key, and it shows you any area in which you are lacking or where you have to add more effort. Were your answers less convincing? Could you have prepared more thoroughly? Were there any questions you feel you could have answered differently? Being armed with these, you can now begin to make efforts that better prepares you for other opportunities.
2. Learning, Training, and Development: You must identify areas where you need to improve and get adequate training to become better in such areas. It is key to put in place a personal development plan and strictly follow through. There is a common saying that the distance between where you are and where you ought to be is knowledge. If this is true, it is highly imperative to garner the knowledge necessary to become who you desire. Never stop learning, never stop growing, and never stop developing. Rather than wallow in an emotional pity party that does not solve anything, gather information, read books, attend seminars, go for training and consciously pay attention to your growth and development.
3. Be Open-Minded: Being open-minded is demonstrating the ability to accept new ideas and different perspectives. It is the receptiveness to something entirely new to our thought-line. It is difficult to see all the factors contributing to problems when you are not open-minded and tough to develop effective solutions. Part of the process of arriving at reasonable solutions to a problem is the ability to see things differently. People have rightly said that it is insanity to do the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result. The opposite of open-mindedness is closed-mindedness. Closed-minded people are only willing to consider their viewpoints and are not receptive to other ideas.
4. Change your Strategy: You might begin to look for new ways to adapt, a new style of answering questions, new ways of sending your resume. If you have used a particular strategy and it has not yielded a result, consider changing it. As a job seeker, you must daily look for new ideas, innovations on how to nail your dream job. In conclusion, it is important to state that rejection is not common to anybody. Rejection of this nature is not peculiar to people of a particular nation, race, color, age group, societal background, or religion. It is a fundamental life situation or circumstance that can happen to anyone regardless of who they are, what they stand for, or what they believe in. However, we must realize that nobody wins by staying, losing, or quitting. The road to success is paved with endurance and consistent trial. People had become great by relentlessly making attempts without giving up. Also, the time taken to get your dream job is inconsequential after you have gotten the job. So do not let the number of failed attempts deter you, do not let the rejection mail hinder you from trying again, do not lose faith, neither lose hope. I usually define failure as an opportunity to try again, and with such an opportunity to try again comes the opportunity to win.