One of the major issues faced by people in any relationship is the arising problems due to co- dependency. It has its roots everywhere from Romantic relationship, Parent-children relationship there exists problems due to co-dependency. Besides venting our stress out with our friends, there are many other ways to solve the feeling of guilt. The best option is to stay calm and set our time into reading books. Here we are going to look at the best books that will help you heal Co-dependency.
A human being’s life always depends on other people. Be it a merry or a disaster our progress is connected with the world around us. The success and sorrow in our lives are decided by the response it gets from society. In this society-centric lifestyle, people naturally tend to look out for other people for both materialistic and mental needs. Dependency or what we call co-dependency has become a major issue in relationships, business, and even at the workplace.
Books as Healers
When you are struggling to heal from dependency problems, it is highly notable that you should not depend on someone to overcome the stress. The path to healing cannot become the problem itself. So, Reading books is recommended as a good source to overcome these issues. Books speak more volume than the support you get through others.
Let’s plunge into the list.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
“Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie is the first in our collection of best books to heal co-dependency. Melody Beattie is a famous self-help book author. She has written many others books dealing with the topic of co-dependency. Melody Beattie is a must on the bookshelf for anyone recovering from dependency problems.
The books detail people’s psychology to take responsibility for wrong happenings in their life. We tend to blame ourselves for failures in our life. Beattie talks about finding happiness within yourself in this book. The problems of guilt, responsibility, addiction, and love that built up the co-dependency problem are explored.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
What do you consider is making you dependent on people? What stops you from letting go of others? Have you ever tried to find answers to these questions? If so, you would know that all fingers are pointing at you. The solution has a lot to do with our past. It is us who are not letting ourselves get disconnected from others.
It is either because we had a terrible past that is hard to face alone, making us dependent on others. Or else, we have let ourselves emotionally trapped in a dependent relationship, thinking about the past cherish memories we shared with that person. Be it a good or bad reason. It is the past that needs treatment. You need to overcome your past for a bright future. It is the core message of the book. The language of letting go is a masterpiece telling us that the key to our problem is in the past. Unlock your past for a better future.
Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer
“Conquering shame and co-dependency” by Darlene Lancer is a fantastic book written by Darlene Lancer dealing with Co-dependency. It transverses the relationship between shame and Co-dependency. Lancer says that people are scared to face shame. Dependency is a defense mechanics towards shame. People are constantly under the pressure that they might be abandoned, rejected, and betrayal by the group. It makes them hide their own self and leech themselves off with others.
Lancer also says that people with delayed stress syndrome and post-traumatic syndrome get easily subjected to dependency problems. This book is suitable for readers with stress issues. Also, it clearly says that dependent characters do not have an identity of their own. Such great truth put in subtle words is this book.
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller
Another related word to define dependency is attachment. This book analyses the source of attachment problems. The solution to co-dependency problems lies in either anxious people or avoidant people.
The book encourages people to understand the feeling of others. Anxious people need to prioritize themselves them while avoidant people must try to understand the feeling of others. This book is the best pick, to know the root of the problem if you are anxious or avoidant. The book is not constrained by the topic of romantic relationships. It talks about all relationships and dependency failures in them.
Passion Trap: How to Right an Unbalanced Relationship by Cassandra Phillips and Dean C.Dellis
This book is written by renowned psychologists Cassandra Phillips and Dean C.Dellis enlightens the readers on the dependency problems faced in romantic relationships. This book is a call out for people struggling to process rumination. It helps in finding the origin and how attachment traits take action. This book lays the foundation for anyone willing to be proactive in healing.
Mindset by Carol S Dweck
Even after meeting with the source problem, people still struggle to proclaim their independent identity. Breaking from the chains of dependency needs a lot of discipline. In that sense, Mindset is a highly recommended book to prepare yourself for the next process of healing. It gives you the proper guidance in exercising the change you want to see in your life. This book is a healing spell for people with self-doubt and no confidence. One drawback about this book is that it is based on research conducted by the authors making some pages boring to read.
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
“Boundaries: When to say Yes, How to say No to take control of your life” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is an insightful book on Co-dependency. Codependency problems arise in the first place due to the subject’s leniency in adhering to their boundaries.
Boundaries stress the importance of maintaining our boundaries for a healthy relationship. Not setting boundaries makes people fall into the trap of dependency. When fallen into this people never care to look at the overstepped boundaries. The authors stress this problem, thereby telling the readers to take charge of their life. Boundaries do not create distance in relationships instead it binds the relationship for the long run.
Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie
This book gives a life-changing experience for readers. Like the book “Mindset”, it also directs around overcoming the aftermath effects of dependency state. It ingrains the fact that co-dependency is normal and universal. Every one of us, at some point, is consciously or unconsciously were dependent.
This book brings the flaws in the readers that bring out addiction in dependency. The clear depiction of the flaws helps the readers overcome the aftermath stage breaking away from the problem.
Codependency for Dummies by Darlene Lancer
This is a perfect beginner book for co-dependency-related problems. What drives people to trust others more than themselves? This is a daunting question that is in the mind of everyone reading this article. This book details procrastinating and addition which is the root of this crisis.
One beautiful concept you will find in the book is “Positive Affirmation”. If we pronounce a positive statement after doing any action it will increase our confidence. When you do this it eliminates self-doubt thereby develops trust in yourself. Positive affirmation creates a positive atmosphere setting room for development. Yep! This is a must-read book for horrible procrastinators.
Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood
Yet another amazing book focusing on women and dependency issues. It is quite sad that more women than men fall into abusive relationships. It’s even sadder to know that some women fail to come out of toxic relationships. Some are struck and some other wants to stay in abusive conditions. This book is an insightful take on women’s dependency on abusive relationships.
The book’s specialty lies in its description of everyday casual events in a woman’s life from gossip, dirty talks, and so on connecting the female audience with the story.
Inner Bonding by Margaret Paul
This book has got huge responses among the readers. Many say that this book is better than the classic co-dependence books written by Melody Beattie, which are regarded as the classics in the Co-dependency area. It is such an insightful book stressing the importance of self-healing. D.Paul says that a person must be aware of his/her potential. They must be able to track their emotional growth and breakups. Only if you know what is happening to your body, mind, and heart then only you can heal yourselves from any problems.
Paul calls the process of self-healing inner bonding. It introduces six effective methods to master inner bonding. It is a must-have book for an emotionally healthy diet. Be sure to embrace your inner bonding.
Let Go Now: Embracing Detachment by Karen Casey
This book is similar to “The Language of Letting go” by Melody Beattie in exploring the concept of letting go. As the title suggests, we have to embrace detachment. Our first step towards embracing detachment is our willingness to let go. Further, this book provides an answer to all the problems related to detachment.
Like, how we do exercise, embracing detachment must become a daily routine. It is hard for detachment to work in the beginning. Just how you get comfortable doing exercise day by day, you will master the art of detachment.
You Are Crazy You Are Codependent by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter
If you are loaded with negativity, guilt, and anxiety about relationships, then this book is the right pick for you. Menter goes into detail on addiction, abuse, trauma, and toxic shaming. People with bitter history in relationships must have thought at some point that it is their fault and they are crazy. This book title itself is calming, reflecting the reader’s dilemma.
The Road Back to Me by Lisa A. Romano
Next on your list is a brilliant book by Romano educating the readers on addiction, low self-esteem, enabling, and co-dependency. The book is written based on the experience of the author. You can relate to her experiences as your own.
The book does not give pieces of advice or resolutions. Instead, it is the gained experience and growth of the author from the dark shadows of life. It will be a great example to gain confidence and move ahead. It will definitely be a booster for choosing the right path in life.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
This beautiful book is a reminder for us to value ourselves more than other things. This book transverse the topic of how people try to get approval from others. We change our views to gel in and prepare us likable. The nice guy or girl among us denies their identity. They give so much to others and expect the same in return.
For all those nice people out there, who have given a lot but got disappointment at the receiver end, this book is just perfect for you. Settling our identity for pleasing others and expecting the same treatment of others is also a dependency problem.
Scary Close by Donald Miller
Scary Close subtitled Dropping the act and finding True Intimacy does not directly deal with co-dependency. This book can be added to your co-dependency list in the sense that it talks about dropping the act and being ourselves. The fact that we put on various masks is to satisfy others. It proves that we are dependent on society. The same goes for relationships also. We suppress our real identity to be liked by others.
This book focuses on the married relationship, or per se, about preparation before marriage. As we know, marriage is a complicated relationship. It is a relationship where two people depend on each other. So. Yeah! If you are particularly looking for dependency problems in married life. This book is just right for you.
All the books discussed above give great support to people in distress. These books are the best books for people who want to heal from co-dependency concerns. It is also for people who are in trouble coping up with themselves and society after overcoming dependency issues. Make sure to tick these books off in your checklist. Happy reading and healing.