First, it is completely and absolutely normal to feel emotional or sensitive when someone yells at you. If you get sensitive over simple things, then it might be a sign that you are overthinking things and that you are under a lot of stress at the moment, but it doesn’t mean you can’t feel sensitive. Have you ever wondered why am I so sensitive when someone yells at me?
In today’s world everything is at its best and so is the competition behind it which results in a lot of people over-analyzing and stressing over simple things, so usually, when a person yells at you, because of everything going on in your mind already you might feel sensitive, some people might perceive yelling as a sign of danger unlike most of us who can cope with it. So, they get emotional or cry as a coping mechanism or defense thinking that might pursue the person to stop yelling.
You may often get remarked as a weak person or that you are overly sensitive, but being sensitive is a way of expressing the overwhelming feelings and pent up frustration you have in your mind, and getting yelled at can trigger all the feelings that you kept hidden at the back of your brain. Most of the time, one gets emotional because of the sensory overload or the uncomfortable environment created around one because of the yelling.
Given all these factors, it’s fair enough that we feel sensitive when someone yells at us. But getting sensitive over simple things is also one of the first signs that your mental health is deafening, and we should choose to cope with it instead of pushing it aside because you might feel normal for the time being. Still, it could have effects on you would have never imagined. The only way out is to do what is right and not what feels right to you.
Normally people get desensitized to it if they get yelled at frequently but when you are facing something like that, take a quick moment to analyze if you are getting yelled at for your actual mistakes or whether the other person is just disclosing their anger from their life or elsewhere on you because that would help you understand if it’s worth being sensitive at that time.
Except for your friends and family or people that care for you, as bad as it sounds, indeed, the people around you wouldn’t really come forward to comfort you because of the fear that they might get into trouble. Still, one thing you should remember is that you don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed of crying or being sensitive in public because it’s simply your response to emotional pain. Every single person would experience it at least once in their lifetime.
As we talked, there could be a million reasons for a person yelling at you, and there is a possibility that it is not directed towards you. If you are sure that there isn’t anything wrong on your side, don’t be afraid to assert your point across the table. We should also learn not to take things too personally because everyone has their own thoughts running on their mind, and sometimes people tend to talk without thinking. We should grasp the meaning or the frustration behind the yelling and try to suppress our sensitivity towards the issue because it helps us overcome being extremely sensitive.
How to react without seeming too rude?
If you are too caught up in your own thoughts to tell the person yelling at you that there isn’t anything wrong with what you did, you can go ahead and ask the person a little bit of time for yourself to calm down and think straight so that you can explain yourself without being too emotional. An individual would normally choose to yell because they feel like no one is taking them seriously if they speak normally or that their message is not being reached out the way they wanted it to be, so even if you are feeling emotional, listen to the person and see if they are fair to you and themselves.
Is it a big deal?
Being sensitive is, most of the time, not a choice one makes. It’s who they naturally are. Some of us accept the fact and move on, but some of us have a hard time doing the same because not all of us are the same. Being highly sensitive is not a disorder or anything of that sort it’s just a personality trait, people who are highly sensitive empathize with their surroundings easily and can be too moved because of the beauty around them.
Being sensitive doesn’t have anything to do with how you do at work, school or college, or life. Society has portrayed being sensitive as a very feminine thing for centuries now. That explains why females are generally excused or not mocked when they feel sensitive, while males are belittled and are often called weak.
According to many studies conducted by a lot of prestigious universities, being emotional, being sensitive, and crying have absolutely nothing to do with a person’s gender. It’s just the way the people around us perceive it. So no one can stress enough that it is completely and absolutely normal to be sensitive when you have a reason, but if you cry for no apparent reason, then it can be a sign that your mental health is not at its best.
It might be because you are depressed or feeling anxious, maybe hormonal imbalances, neurological disorders. In these cases, it is a big deal for your health, and it will be for the best if you undergo a diagnosis or seek help from a mental health professional. Because neglecting them would have adverse effects on you and your future.
Is it emotional suffering?
This is not a reason in many of the cases but still does exist, and the five most common signs are:
- Feeling overwhelmed, helpless or hopeless because of too much thinking.
- Neglecting self care.
- Isolating oneself, experiencing inexplicable pain.
- Having a tough time doing everyday tasks, getting easily irritable.
- Feeling guilty for no real reason, worrying too much over nothing.
At any point of the emotional rollercoaster ride, you are on, if at all you feel any of these symptoms, you should not think twice to check up on yourself and if it means you will have to take some time off from everything that’s going, don’t waste a second in doing so.
If you tried it all and you still cannot cope with them, you shouldn’t hold yourself back from seeking professional help from a therapist or a counselor to assess why you are feeling the way you do. However, if it is in any way not comfortable for you to talk to a therapist or a counselor, then you should try talking to your cousins, friends, or maybe that one person that you feel would understand and help you.
Past Life Experiences
It might not be the same for all of us. Some might be traumatized because of what happened with our parents. Some might be because of things at work, or maybe because of things that happened in our relationship that we can never seem to get rid of even when we try. Of course, our past life experiences have a lot to do with the person we are right now, as much as the good things from our past shape us into who we are at present, so do the bad things.
So everything that has ever happened in our life will have an impact on us no matter how much we try to brush it off, and in this case, you can’t really brush it off, so it’s better to accept it and try to improve ourselves by any way possible.
It might be trauma or fright that makes you things that the consequences could be just as bad as they were when it happened last, and it is quite hard to get out of that bubble for many of us. Usually, there are three phases of us reacting to when being yelled at.
- Phase 1: Being confused and not knowing how to react right away, because of everything happening in a fast second. We take this time to realize if we are really at fault or if we are being used as the bridge for the other person to vent out their frustrations.
- Phase 2: Trying to get our point across, absorbing whatever the situation that has settled around us.
- Phase 3: Realizing if we can speak up or if it might get us into deeper trouble, this is normally the phase where our trauma kicks in because we just start to accept the fact that us trying to speak wouldn’t make any difference.
How to respond when someone is yelling at you?
Try and stay as calm as possible. As we talked about before, try and identify your wrongs and rights and validate your feeling. Even if you understand that the yeller is frustrated and is going through their own pressure at the moment, you don’t need to stay on the lower ground the whole time and put up with things that don’t feel right. It is also essential to understand that breathing is key in these kinds of situations, and it could be of massive help because when you focus on your breathing, there is a slightly lesser chance for your brain to go back to your traumatic moments, and that does help you get less sensitive.
Never try to brush off an insult if you feel like you have come across one when someone is yelling at you because they would never stop insulting you unless you make it clear that you wouldn’t take any of it. Do not take it personally when you understand that it’s not just directed towards you. If you are experiencing any verbal abuse at home or with the people you feel are close to you or with your life partner, it is essential to seek help from a helpline or a credible source that would get you out of the situation.
How to reach out to the person yelling at you?
Try to assure them that you understand what they are going through, might be at your workplace, your home, or anywhere at all, don’t speak on the other person’s behalf, let them explain their point of view, and be focused on how you are reacting and your behavior. As cliche as it sounds, communication is always the first resort. Try and tell them you can’t continue to talk about a certain thing for a long time because it causes you discomfort. Set a time limit or a specific time to discuss it, and if you both are on good terms with the topic, apply the same approach in the future.
When anyone needs time to relax and analyze, don’t ever restrict yourself or others from taking the time. This would really calm down the situation created around you, may it be voluntarily or involuntarily. You need to be open and broad-minded to discuss anything and let them know that you will understand and discuss more effectively when spoken softly rather than yelling to get their point on the table. Think of ways to change the way the discussion happened before. If you feel like the same pattern is repeating, try and tell them that you can’t afford to go the same way down and that you have to discuss it more sensibly and healthily.
The above points have been about how one feels sensitive when being yelled at, why it happens, why it is normal, how to stay calm while it is happening, is something to be worried about? etc. As discussed before, if you feel sensitive or cry when being yelled at, you are a sensitive human being, and there isn’t one thing wrong with it. Still, if any of it intensifies to a point where you start feeling scared about the thought itself, that is when you need to seek help or reach out to people you feel are credible and get yourself out of it, the problem may not completely subside, but it might help to an extent.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why do I feel scared when someone yells at me?
We normally feel that yelling is a triggering situation to all of the things that our brain carries from the past. And the thought that you feel like speaking your thoughts out would make no difference also scares you. Along with that, you can be startled because of the sudden switch of the situation because it usually happens when you least expect it to.
- How do you not cry when someone yells at you?
Try to breathe as much as possible and also try not to think of all the things that went wrong in the past which would trigger you furthermore. You can also try drowning down all the voices around you to an extent, thinking of happy memory, and focusing on them.
- Why do I cry when someone criticizes me?
It is quite normal for many of us to get upset when someone criticizes us, be it constructive or destructive criticism. Still, a highly sensitive person would most probably cry because it triggers the emotional part of their brain where the memories from the past dreadful happenings are stored. Hence, it is for them to use crying as defense thinking it would calm the situation down.
- How do I not be overly sensitive?
The first step is to realize that every bad thing happening around you is not necessarily about you, not being afraid to make people know you will not deal with the irrelevant insults and unnecessary ranting just because they are frustrated over something, analyzing your feelings. Practicing to control your emotions as much as you can and keeping your attention in the present, understanding that negative things or feelings take time to sink in, but they have to exist for a balanced life. If required, seek professional help from a therapist or a counselor.
- Is being sensitive a weakness?
Sensitivity is often seen as a sign of weakness in our culture, especially when a sensitive person experiences too much stress. We can easily become overwhelmed by too much sensory input, doing too much and ignoring our limits, or just by being surrounded by too many people. But it is not something one can’t get over. There are many different ways to stop yourself from being sensitive if you feel like it is affecting your self-esteem and it is nothing to be worried about.