You are home alone or surrounded by family, but you seem so lonely. Nothing excites you anymore, and all you need is your best friend. Whether they live or moved miles away, you had a nasty fight with them over something serious or petty, unfortunately, passed on, decided to end years of friendship or relationship with you over one reason or another; it sucks being away from the person who brings light to your dark days. We thrive when we know that there is someone out there who understands us. We thrive even more when we can see, touch, hug or hang out with them when we need to distress or take a knee. This is why we have come up with what to do in the scenario that you miss your best friend.
Things to do When you Miss your Best Friend
- You miss your best friend because of a fight.
Conflict is inevitable, and it can happen even to the closest of friends. Different perceptions, backgrounds, or beliefs and understanding between you and your best friend may bring out the nastiness that sometimes leads to a fight. You have to remember that conflict is a healthy occurrence, and you should embrace it even when it sucks.
If you got into a fight with your best friend and they are not talking to you, or have ghosted you and you miss them, here are some of the things you can do:
Make an inventory – of why you fought, what was the problem, was it sudden or festering for a while? Once you have realized why there was conflict, it will be easier to address it. Remember it’s you and your best friend against the problem, not against each other.
Be the bigger person – ‘why should I be the first one to reach out?’ ‘I didn’t do anything wrong’ ‘I was just telling the truth’ ‘I gave my opinion as it was asked, why should I apologize’ ‘It wasn’t my fault’ ‘I don’t care,’ are statements that will cause you to lose your best friend. The easiest way out is to be the bigger person and make the first step.
Reach out – by sending them ‘Hi. Just thinking about you. I miss you’ ‘Can we meet for a cup of coffee?’ ‘I would like to come over and discuss what happened.’ If you do not know what to say, a meme, GIF, funny video is always a good way to start a conversation.
Seek counsel – talking to a person about handling conflict, especially if it was not a nice fight, can be your next course of action. You can seek counsel when you have apologized and done all you can but cannot get through to your best friend. Through counseling, you will be able to have a mediator or an impartial party on the outside looking in to help you mend the bond.
- You miss your best friend because they moved cities, states, countries, or continent.
Long-distance friendships are not a walk in the park. You need to wake up every day and choose to be friends with your best friend, no matter the time zones, work or school, family, and distance. If you have been around your best friend for a long time, but now they have moved away from you, and you are struggling or miss them, here are a few things you can do:
Facetime sessions – having regular facetime with your best friend will improve your long-distance relationship greatly. Even if you are in different time zones, you can arrange for weekly facetime with one another; that way, you have something to look forward to as you do your daily activities.
Always text – good morning, good afternoon, and good evening texts can make your best friend feel special, knowing that you thought of them. Through texting, you can send them a funny picture you saw on your way to work, the beauty of nature when you went for a walk or jog, pictures of what you are eating or drinking, or selfies of you in a new outfit you bought for approval or disapproval.
Address issues when they come up – it is a guarantee you will feel some way when you see your best friend make new friends, cancel your schedule face times, miss your calls or take a long time texting back. It would be best to address those feelings when they arise so that you do not start assuming or jumping to conclusions or pushing them away because of jealousy.
Plan trips and vacations – planning for your yearly vacations and trips can be a satisfying activity you can do with your best friend. This way, you can finally go on that trip you have been postponing, attend that concert of your favorite band, or meet them halfway in a weird city with an interesting story. This way, you will be excited to have a fun time with your best friend.
Virtual parties – you can still celebrate each other’s birthdays and promotions, weekends, or holidays virtually. This way, you have a reason to put on some fancy clothes, buy a nice bottle of wine, bake or buy a cake, or order in and have a nice celebration over Skype or Zoom. Netflix allows you to host and be part of watch parties to don’t have to watch your favorite show by yourself.
- You miss your best friend because you are growing apart.
Life can get in the way of the once-close friendship you had with your best friend. When you find that it’s awkward being around them, you are walking on eggshells around them, they don’t understand you anymore or vice versa, you cannot be yourself around them, you are not told of the details of their lives; such as a new relationship, promotion, or engagement news, you are drifting apart from your best friend. When you are in a situation like this, and wondering how to get back to where you were because you miss them dearly, here is what you should do:
Check yourself – maybe you are the problem. You have allowed important or unimportant things to get in the way between you and your best friend. As humans, we go searching for something we don’t have within us. So, since you are drifting apart, there is something that you are seeking elsewhere that your best friend cannot provide you with. Once you evaluate yourself, you can reach out and rekindle.
Talk about it – the feeling of drifting apart can be caused by something so simple. It could be a word lost in translation, miscommunication, or an issue that could have been easily avoided. The best way to handle it is to talk about it. When you talk, you need to have open-mindedness, listen to understand, not to answer, and most of all, leave your pride at the door. When you talk, you will get to hear what your best friend says. They will hear you as well, and you will both agree on how to move forward.
Acceptance – as you grow older and experience more, you will realize the basis of your friendship. Maybe you decided to become best friends out of necessity, such as you were lonely. In other cases, your best friend has done irreparable damage to you and your reputation, and you cannot forgive them yet still miss them being around. In a case as this, walking away and accepting that you were not meant to be would be the only way out.
Hold on to memories – when you feel like you are losing your best friend, the memories you have will get you through that rough patch. This is the reason capturing memories in photos and videos is important. Going through your gallery and reminding yourself of the good times you had can be the nudge to lead you into closeness.
Keep showing up – consistency is key in a friendship, even when you feel you are drifting apart. Show up for those events you learned at the last minute, offer to be of help in any way, be present and active in your best friend’s life even when it feels like they do not want you there.
- You miss your best friend because they ended your friendship.
Your best friend who you have been close to for so long, wakes up one day and decides that they don’t want to be friends with you anymore. It could be because of what they did, or what you did, or they want to meet other people. Broken friendships are worse than romantic breakups. Having someone, you can always talk to no matter what, who does not judge you, and who always believes in you gives you that extra motivation in any situation. What if it ends, abruptly and you cannot stop thinking about them? Here is what you can do:
Wallow in your feelings – cry a lot, call them in the middle of the night when you cannot sleep, post pictures on social media to show them that you are fine, get crazy drunk and hate yourself for even being close to your best friend, feel angry, happy, confused, crazy, irrational, sad, and depressed. Wallowing in your feelings helps you release all the anger and aggression you feel towards your now ex-best friend. Once all this is out, you will be able to move on and find your actual best friend soul mate.
Distractions are great – any time you feel like you are thinking about your best friend, distract yourself. It could be from working out, learning a new language, watching Netflix shows, knitting, taking a cooking class, reading your favorite magazine, or immersing yourself in the world of fiction. When you are distracted, you will get new hobbies that will probably help you cope with missing your best friend.
Get rid of their stuff – when the feelings are still raw, you can remove the things that remind you of your best friend until you are ready to have them back up. Having constant reminders will only worsen how you feel, especially if the break up was abrupt. You can go through the stuff, either mail it back to them, donate it to charity, or give them to someone else or store them somewhere else. Getting rid of all their stuff will also help you go through the memories one last time.
Accept and move on – you can’t force someone to be in your life or a relationship, for that matter. When the friendship has run its course, accept that you have had a good run, decide to remain cordial with them or not talk to them at all, get out there and meet new people, and be open to someone else who finds you great and would allow you to add value to their lives.
- You miss your best friend because they have passed on.
Your best friend was probably your peace, a strong tower you could run to, a person you could say anything, support even when you were doing crazy things, a person you could sit in silence with and still have a nice time and the person you saw yourself sharing a retirement home with playing bingo. However, funeral has robbed you of this person, and you are stuck and don’t know how to handle it. Here are a few ideas to get you through this time:
Grieve – the people around you may not understand the close bond you shared or how the funeral has affected you. No matter your method, take as much time as you want to grieve. Visit their graves and sit there and visit the family and spend time with them if they allow you. Go through the dark stages of the first five stages of grief. When you get to acceptance, you will be at peace with yourself and your new reality.
Do what they loved doing – make a playlist of all the songs they loved listening to and putting them on repeat. When you close your eyes, you will remember even the sound of their voice as they sang the songs. Go to their favorite restaurant and sit at the both they loved. Order their favorite meal and remember how they used to savor the taste and smell. Drive to the hangout spots you frequented and revel in the memories you created there. Watch and re-watch all your favorite movies with them and laugh or cry at your favorite scenes. Doing what they loved will give your heart rest, knowing that your best friend is still with you and you can talk to them whenever you want to.
Write them a letter – putting down how you feel in words will help you express your grief and the feelings you have toward them dying. Writing a letter is also a form of therapy as you will be reminiscing, coming to realizations, and having a wonderful trip down memory lane.
Make a bucket list in their honor – the loss of a best friend puts many things into perspective. Is there something your best friend wanted to do but could not? Write them down one by one and live it out in their honor. Making and taking part in the activities will help you get closure, and you feel like you completed their purpose here on earth. You can do this alone or with your best friend’s family or mutual friends.
Talk to a professional – when you feel too overwhelmed, and nothing is working. Sometimes you feel like life is not that important, and all you want is your best friend; talking to a grief counselor should be your best solution. They will guide you on what to do when you feel a certain way and handle feelings of loneliness.
Best friend connections are priceless, and sometimes not being around them can be devastating to your way of life. If you are in any of the situations above with your best friend, we hope you will get the connection going, re-ignite the spark, or accept that they are no longer here.
Also read BEST WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY DEAR GRANDMA