Boss Criticizes My Personality

Keeping up with constructive criticism can be overwhelming especially when you are on the verge of reaching the peak of your career, sometimes it weighs you down as you want to make sure you are building yourself, and your flaws and increasing your skills, expanding your capacity, and improving your performance. Here we will see about Boss Criticizes My Personality.

It’s normal to get feedback from your boss because feedback helps you to know how well you are performing at work, your strengths, and weaknesses, and how to pitch yourself in your career and industry. Although it can be difficult to deal with negative criticism when it is related to your work, it is worse to deal with criticism related to your personality trait as opposed to your performance at work. Dealing with such bosses requires wisdom or quitting the job when it starts affecting your mental health.

Handling constructive criticism is much better because it’s a way of challenging yourself to do better at work, improve your skill and move from average to outstanding in your career.

If your boss is criticizing your personality, the following tips will help you.

Boss Criticizes My Personality

Identify what type of criticism it is

There are two types of criticism, they are;

Jeff Bezos Career Advice
Jeff Bezos Career Advice
  • Constructive criticism
  • Destructive criticism

Constructive criticism

Constructive criticism is the type of criticism that is designed to help the recipient of the critics to identify their strengths and improve on their weaknesses and it is always delivered in such a way that is respectful, motivating, and non-threatening.

An example of constructive criticism is 

I love your level of eloquence and poise during your last presentation. However, you did not give detailed information about the figures and our client is more interested in the practical aspect over theory. I suggest you dig further into the figures next time.

Destructive criticism

Destructive criticism is the type of criticism that is designed to kill the mural and self-esteem and it is not delivered for the recipient to improve in his/her areas of weakness but to undermine the ability of the recipient. It is always threatening, delivered aggressively, and mostly done in the public.

Example

Your face can be so annoying sometimes, especially during the interview, your smile was irritating, as it seem arrogant and like you are full of yourself. You were not even bold during your last presentation, you were so timid that your voice was annoying with that clumsy attitude of yours while trying to present the last slide.

How to handle destructive criticism from your boss

It is overwhelming when you receive destructive criticism from your boss and it can be so intimidating, and self-deprecating when it happens over time. The following ways are tips that will help you respond to destructive criticism

  • Don’t respond immediately 
  • Ask for details
  • Weigh your options
  • You may have to air out your opinion
  • Show him your track record of success at work
  • Don’t take it to heart

Don’t respond immediately 

Over time, it has been discovered that when you respond to a situation emotionally without reflecting, scrutinizing, and breathing, you tend to act out of control and say things that aren’t supposed to be said.

Before you respond, take a breath in and out, reflect on the situation, and excuse yourself from the environment, you can go to a safe place like the toilet for an alone moment. It makes you take a step back from the situation and logically tackle the situation.

Ask for details

Destructive criticism might be vague sometimes and you don’t even know the exact reason why your boss is nagging, you can ask for specific scenarios that can justify their criticism. If your boss nag about the rumor he has been hearing about you, ask for a piece of detailed information about those he heard it from and frame your request in a way that doesn’t depict anger and retaliation.

You may have to air out your opinion

You should always air your opinion even if your boss doesn’t care to listen, you may be scared to retaliate but you should never remain silent and calm. Don’t shout and scream back when they nag, it will be used against you. Politely and professionally, make your boss see the reason that he is only criticizing your personality as opposed to work-related constructive criticism that will help you improve your work ethic in the company. 

Weigh your options

A prolonged destructive criticism can take a toll on your physical and mental health. After trying to put up your best effort into work and your boss keeps giving you bad treatment, it is time that you seek better opportunities out there.

Show him your track record of success at work

When your boss continually criticizes your personality at work, you have to be sure you are on the clean side, you can have a meeting with your boss, ask him if the areas he wants you to improve, and you may want to show him a track record of your success at work.

Let him see reasons that you are not slacking in your job and his criticism is only based on your personality as opposed to work.

Don’t take it to heart:

 It is most likely that your boss is talking out of anger, you should not take the words personally. Don’t reflect on the words for too long.

What you should not do when your boss criticizes you

  • Don’t flare up
  • Don’t bring up issues that does not relate to what he is saying
  • Don’t be rude and nonchalant when explaining yourself
  • Don’t be silent

Effect of destructive criticism from boss

  • It lowers the self-esteem
  • It reduces the confidence of the recipient
  • It affects your prestige and reputation
  • It undermines your ability

It lowers self-esteem: 

Low self-esteem is a situation whereby a person sees themselves as less than who they are, they feel unloved, insufficient, inadequate, and incompetent. A low self-esteem person is always careful not to let people down.

It reduces the confidence of the recipient

When your boss criticizes your personality, it takes a toll on your confidence level by making you feel less trust and believing in yourself. 

It affects your prestige and reputation

When your boss criticizes you publicly before other staff, it takes a toll on your reputation and the respect people have for you

It undermines your ability

Destructive criticism about your personality makes you question your sanity, feel less successful, less powerful, and less of who you are and the feats you are capable of attaining

Conclusion 

In conclusion, criticism is a way of developing ourselves and becoming the best person we can be, in our career and all aspects of life. when your boss criticizes your personality, don’t flare up and react emotionally, try to calm your nerves and be professional while talking to your boss. 

Frequently Asked Questions 

Q1. What should I do when my boss criticizes my personality?

Firstly, analyze the situation, don’t react emotionally, Ask for details, air your opinion, show him your track record of success in the organization as opposed to the criticism, and weigh your options if it begins to affect your mental health.

Q2. Why is my boss criticizing my personality?

  • You have a certain skill he admires in you 
  • He wants to fire you
  • He wants to frustrate you and in the end, you will resign

Q3. What are the effects of destructive criticism?

  • It lowers the self-esteem
  • It reduces the confidence of the recipient
  • It affects your prestige and reputation
  • It undermines your ability
  • It brings about an inferiority complex 
Boss Criticizes My Personality

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