Hi everyone, I’m Cécile, 25, from France, living in Berlin now. I’m a graphic designer, and I’m gonna talk about how I ended up being a freelancer. If you don’t like long-detailed-personal-story, well just don’t read that one 🙂
My journey started in 2013 after graduating from high school. I mean… when I say “started,” I mean I had no clue what to do with my life, so I started by choosing something I thought would be nice doing – communication. That’s an easy one. I’m rather extroverted, like to talk, at ease with people. I thought it would be a good place to begin. I spent two years at the university in Lyon doing a degree in organizations’ communication (IUT Lyon 3). That was booooring. Quickly I was like, no. That’s not the kind of fun I was expecting to have. So after graduating from that in 2015, I chose to go to Barcelona (yes, now we can talk) and do a skills upgrade class in applied arts (IDEM Barcelona).
That was great, and it gave me a taste of the kind of fun I wanted to have for a job. In 2016 I went back to France to do a degree in graphic design in Paris (LISAA). At this point, I knew I was on the right path cause I was having heaps of fun at school (I mean, except partying and stuff). When I finished this, I was still feeling like a baby, and I needed an excuse to postpone the time where I would start working, so I was like, let’s do a Master! I knew I didn’t want to stay in Paris, so I started listing the nice capital of Europe I would like to live in. That was gonna be Berlin. I got accepted into this Master of Arts in Media Spaces (BTK) and started in 2018. It had pretty much nothing to do with graphic design, but who cares? I just wanted to keep on learning something.
In June 2019, so basically, in the middle of my master’s, I got the Freelance graphic designer status (finally). This was when things started, kind of. Or at least that’s when I thought things were starting. I did a couple of really bad-paid jobs initially, and I may be earned during the whole year something like 500 bucks from freelance. I was still stoked, haha. Yea, that’s how you start.
After graduating with the Master’s in Feb 2020, I started looking for a job, and as Corona was hitting, I was having a hard time (yes, I like to use the corona excuse for me not having found a job quicker). Basically, at this time, I got really bored (not to say desperate). So In April, I ordered a screenprinting press to fill my days. That was such a smart thing to do! After a couple of months of failing, I fell in love with the design process, things finally got looking better, and I decided that it had to become a thing. I created my « own Design Studio » (haha, that’s me being pretentious there. Screenprincess : from « screenprint » and « Cecile > cec > cess > princess ». (crazy how I always feel like I have to explain where this name comes from).
Basically, that’s a brand merging up design artworks and screen-printed streetwear. I mostly do it for fun, and sometimes when I’m lucky, some friends of mine buy me stuff (to all my friends that bought me smth, u are a great support. I love ya’ll). I want to develop that more in the future, but as you are gonna read, I’m having a hard time making time for it, especially cause it’s more of money taking than money giving. Whatever.
In June 2020, After a 4-month-long-job- search, I got hired as an intern in a startup (yes, I was desperate, so I settled for an internship). In the end, that was a smart move because they realized I was good, so they hired me yaaaay. Back then, I negotiated to work only 4 out of 5 days/ week because, come on, who wants to work full time? Well, that was me being innocent. Also, because I really wanted to make use of it as I had the freelance status and keep some time for it.
At the same time, my boyfriend back then broke up with me, might be personal shit, but I guess everyone can relate, and also, I’m telling you this because it played a huge role in the process of me getting my shit together. I was starting a new job, my whole life kind of shift, I was feeling like a piece of shit left behind, really, so I literally drowned myself into work so I wouldn’t think too much about it. At this time, it felt like working was my only source of worth, so I went 100% in. Honestly, when I look at it now, I’m so grateful for it because I focused all my time and energy into what I had left, which was (sadly but not that much): work. I was feeling so bad that I paradoxically had so much energy. I wanted to prove to the world there was at least one thing I was good at. I gradually got more and more clients through random friends talking about my work, and those clients just kept on giving me projects. I was in laser mode.
During the following months, I just got fortunate. A good friend of mine and a great artist (@Leiti if u read me) got bored of freelancing and wanted to focus on his art, so he just hit me up asking if I’d be keen to take on some of his freelance projects. I mean, of course, I said yes. And now this is when it got started for real (remember I said I thought it started in 2019, naaaah, that was bullshit in comparison). I spent most of Christmas break behind my computer, alternating between logo rebranding and Webdesign for those new clients.
I mean, Christmas 2020 was anyway weirdo cause we didn’t really get the chance to gather up with family, so I just took it as an opportunity to work my ass off for free-lance as I was having a break from my startup job. We got stuck into a home office from January on, which allowed me to use the time I wasn’t spending on commuting for my job into freelancing: before work, after work, and on the weekends. Yes, I know this can’t be sustainable, and I realized it. After holding up on that rythme for a while, it got a Lil too much, and yes, I burned out. Lame at only 25, I know. I needed a break, so I went to the doctor. He gave me a week off from the startup job. My bosses still think I was sick, so if they ever read that well, that’s the real story. I mean, in the end, I WAS sick, so yeah, it makes sense, but u know, no one wants to really admit u can’t take it all. That was a hinge point because then I realized I was not a machine, that I could not work every day without a break, that I could not take it all. I forced myself to take a step back and thought about a smarter way to deal with it all. I asked to turn to 3 days at the startup, and they said no. Ofc. So I basically haven’t found a solution yet.
I’m this precise because I don’t want to pretend I’m living my best life; I’m annoyed by social media where people (including me) showcase only 10% of what really happens. It IS indeed hard to be a freelancer. Working freelance brings a huge satisfaction because first of all, u get heaps of money (I mean heaps compared to what I used to live with), and because you have a feeling of independence, it makes u think you have your shit together, that you are an « entrepreneur » and so on. The down part of it is because you want to prove to your clients that you are good and fast, and whatever, you sacrifice your own precious « me-time » for it. You work on the weekends. You cancel plans last minute with your friends because your client wants this “tiny” last change on the design on Sunday afternoon. After all, you know it’s really urgent-we-need- to-send-the-files-to-the-printer-on- Monday-morning-so-if-you-don’t-do-it- then-the-hole-production-is-delayed- because-of-you. There is pressure.
I am lucky cause all my clients are always nice to me and never expressively said that in those words, but the bigger pressure comes most of the time from yourself. Because free-lance basically means you’re on your own, you have to set your own rules to make it work, you have to make yourself available for new projects, you can’t say no to a new job because who knows if this wouldn’t be the project that brings you further, and so it goes. It’s endless. When you think you are done working, there is ALWAYS a new thing coming in, another email, another guy who reaches out to you because a friend of a friend gave them your number.
And that’s great. I mean, I’m grateful it’s working out, and I’d rather have too much work than too little, but there are no boundaries, and that’s exactly what I’m experiencing now. Especially in the beginning, you never say no to a freelance job, so if it keeps coming in, you keep working. So that’s where I am, struggling between my free-lance works and this startup job, trying to figure out a balance within it all. That sounds like a hassle. But the funny thing is, and that’s how I’m gonna end this: I really love my job.
*Any advice for someone that wants to become a freelancer: well, as u see, I have no advice to give. I’m learning by doing and what brought me here is just an accumulation of random events that belong to my very own story. U gotta write your own. That’s the only way it will become so special to YOU. Well, no, actually, I have one piece of advice: you have to love what you do. If you are not passionate, then go find something else, really. Find something that makes you feel excited working on weekends. That’s how I roll.*
Thanks for reading. <3
